Have you ever wondered by some women instantly appear professional while others seem to not have it completely together? How we act and react is influenced by our four perceptual styles: Audio, Visual, Feeler, and Wholistic. We are a combination of all four styles but our primary style influences are actions and reactions the most. However, the more in balance you are between the four styles, the easier it is to adapt to the other person’s style. This adaptability makes you more approachable and people admire your professionalism.
For instance, when you are having a meeting with an Audio, you need to cover the main points and in a logical sequence. If you ramble or provide unnecessary details, she might interrupt and ask, "And the point is?" As a professional woman, you know to collect your thoughts and remain focused during the meeting. It’s okay if she is not maintaining eye contact with you because she can concentrate better if she turns her ear toward you.
On the other hand, if you break eye contact with a Visual, it has the same affect as if you interrupted her.
When meeting with a Visual, it’s show time. If you simply tell her your plans for a project, she will have a blank face because she is trying to visualize what is needed and the steps involved. As a professional woman, you understand her feeling that "if it’s going to be done right, I have to do it myself." Point out what can be delegated and what is acceptable, even if it’s not at her standard of perfectionism. Otherwise, she'll get so bogged down in the details that she might not meet the deadline.
A Feeler is willing to work on whatever needs to be done as long as she understands how to do it. Audios have a tendency to be blunt, which can intimidate a Feeler. As a professional woman, you speak gently and realize she needs to have a chance to try what you are asking her to do because she doesn't want to make a mistake. You encourage her to take on new challenges and show your appreciation for the many tasks she has completed.
Because a Wholistic has the ability to quickly grasp the whole picture, she is ready to take action immediately. As a professional woman, you support her ability to do the up front planning and help her delegate the rest of the responsibilities. Her mind quickly thinks of other possibilities which scatters her attention and may raise a few eyebrows. By helping her stay focused, she will come appear professional rather than scattered.
The diversity of the perceptual styles can unite or sabotage a team. What can you do when someone easily pushes your hot button? Change how you approach the difficult person to get a more favorable response.
I was upset with my boss and realized I had let him steal my smile. I decided to revert back to my usual smiling self. Just four hours later my boss said, "Carol, I don't know what’s different about you, but I like you a whole lot better."
We are more empowered than we think to change a negative situation. I advised a woman who was disgusted with her four male colleagues to ask herself, "Would I like to work with me?" The response was, "No! I've been a real bitch!" This awareness caused her to lighten up and to behave more professionally. Her colleagues’ response to her change in behavior was positive, and she turned a negative situation around in less than a week.
Carol Welsh, M.S,. is the author of "Stop When You See Red." She has over 25 years of experience as a speaker and is a frequent guest on talk shows. Her Web site is stopred.com. She can be contacted at
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